Women Defined by Their Men

Before people get pissed by this I'm not talking about those who are proud to be a mother or wife. I'm talking about those who completely have no identity without their men. It is one thing to take an interest in what your partner likes to show an interest in them, but another to identify as it and drop it as soon as they leave.

Take my one friend for example. I've known her like 8 years. She is a well meaning near 50 yr old with a huge heart, some emotional issues, and an IQ of around 80 (basically my mom with bi polar). In this time frame she dated:
- a white guy from Holland who was intelligent  (lvl 140, 42 pts lower than mine), computer programmer, 16 when they started cybering and 19 by the time they broke up, and gamer. She decides to learn coding, computer building, gaming, and dutch men were the best men on the planet. When he decided it was over because she cybered other dudes she was going to kill herself because he was the love of her life and one true love.
- she met some hot young guys coding, hacking, and gaming so she keeps those hobbies. Continues to cyber them.
- then after chastising me about how ugly Arab men were, she goes off and gets herself one. Suddenly she's madly in love with them, hottest men on the planet, no other men on the planet will do, etc. She goes off and converts to Muslim for them swearing off 35 years of LeVayan satanism and heavy metal. Even broke off our friendship because "no pagan friends allowed." In the 6-9 months or so of that hiatus she dated a few and decided she had enough, came back to Satanism, metal, and her old friends.
- she got with a full Native guy then it was all "hail native" stuff. Yes I'm proud of my native side, don't get me wrong but she went super over board with it like shoving it down everyone's throat. Then claimed to convert to shamanism for him giving up Satanism. He left, she went back.
- insert few other guys who didn't stick around long enough to convert her.
- now onto the new guy... she's always made fun of the goth and emo sub cultures but I let it go, every one has an opinion and we can be friends even if we disagree on that. Like she picks on goths and HATES emos (everyone hates emos). She starts dating a goth and all of a sudden white guys are the best again and I saw her attempting to write emo poetry yesterday. It actually made me mad, like she was mocking too close to my subculture. I wanted to speak up but I have known her long enough I know what she will say. I also know that when this guy doesn't work out that she won't be into it any more.

All of this also boils down to, not my life, not a direct impact on my life since I'd only see her if I ever flew back to Ohio, not my problem, don't be upset by it. But damn I get irked when someone claims to be independent and "don't try to change me, I am who I am, accept it or leave" then change to fit every man who was his dick on cam for you.

Yes I may make slight alterations like wear a special outfit for an occassion or tone down my goth look in front of in laws. That is not changing who I am that is a compromise to spare a larger fight because the person is more important than my industrial fashion for a few hours, especially if they are compromising something else for me. That is not fully changing an identity...