Ne-Izi-Gar 2017

I made some adjustments to this year's death ceremonies. I decided that I would skip the immediate ancestors that I know of an seek the ones from the cultures that I feel drawn to in an attempt to bring in ancestors to work with and feel good about working with. I want to heal this "generational curse." 

For Ne-Izi-Gar I did prep and love for them, even making a lot of Arabic dinners, listening more to the music again, making sure to do my language lesson, and spent a lot of time on the Underworld tarot spread for Kin-Inanna. With all of the warm up for them I went into Kin-Inanna. 

I used elemental dragons for making the room sacred, prayer to Ninnghizhidda and Neti, and a 15 day Ellegua candle for busting open the gate to the underworld. The first ritual night included not only many offerings (even blood), but I stripped my ritual robe for Neti like Inanna had to strip at each gate to open them. Once done with the initial day I let the candle go and did daily smaller prayers to various general ancestors trying to call them, using incense and/or tobacco that day. Two weeks in I noticed horrible voices in my head, harsh words that were ingrained into me as a child which caused many mental issues including eating disorders and suicidal tendencies. I stopped it after a few days and went "this ain't me." I had to tell my abusive family members they are dead, all of their prejudices from life don't matter anymore, and to get out if they cannot make peace. I switched candles to tobacco candles (with incense and cigar) then sought my Native ancestors to come to my aid and depart their wisdom and healing to more recent dead. I also asked that they reach out to the living bloodline to help heal the damages caused from generations of this abusive cycle. For two weeks I went back and forth with Native, Arab, and Romani ancestors to try to heal my more recent ancestors while the tobacco healing candles burned. The last day of Kin-Inanna I set out one last incense with a pomegranate to thank all of my ancestors for their help. 

Readings: 

During the month of Kin-Inanna I did the Irkallu spread, one card a day: This is the Irkallu spread fully decoded. I thought the experience with calling to my ancient lineage and approaching the gods of the underworld was going well. Then...

I took a quick pull of my Sumerian cards to assess the whole experience after trying to heal the ancestors who seem to still be upset with me. It seems that the immediate family still wants my death by the look of that pull. 

Interesting... I have till next year to figure out how to do this without bringing in grouchy ancestors for another year. lol