Draconity

To most the concept of being a dragon soul is lunacy, but to others they are intrigued once they find out. It's a common trend in neo-paganism for one to have an animal totem and they think it makes them something non-human or they think because they have abilities they are some non-human thing. Almost like having a non-human soul is a requirement. All I hear all day is “how do I find out?” well to satiate those and as an FYI to fellow kin if they need to know, here it goes.

First off, I don't believe my draconity is an aspect of my personality. I believe I have a reincarnated dragon soul who was born into this world to do a job per those who I would say are the dragons I work with like deities in my spiritual practice, they are relatives back in my home plane. I have come to this by a series of events and serious amounts of introspection and trance-work. Since I can't seem to pin point a specific awakening event I shall just start from the beginning with the various events.

Who I am

I guess I should add who I am into this. I am a ~1000 ft long western style dragoness. I am heavily spiked and barbed. I am black with blood red shimmers that come out when light hits them. I also bear red tribal markings from my clan. I have a long flowing mane of black auburn hair. My horns, belly plates, spikes and talons are all a dark silver. My temperament is violent. I have high patience with no tolerance (like a ticking Krakatoa that goes off with little to no provocation). Generally a cold-hearted dominatrix, there is a caring side if you're lucky enough to find it, which is much like finding a black unicorn in the middle of a metro bus.

How  I came to this conclusion? Dreams, meditations, vision quests, and spiritual guides. More on this in later articles.
Childhood

I was one of those anarchist children who would destroy things without a second thought. My earliest memories were talking to plants and having dreams where I was this black dragon who wrecked havoc. I quickly found out that I should not disclose my dreams to my relatives for they were convinced the dreams were “the devil's work” and somehow I was being turned evil by them. I was to ignore the dreams and they'd simply disappear when the “the devil realized I wasn't his” Yes this works about as well as ignoring a comet coming at your head. I was often this same black dragon who found creative ways to torture and end the world. Sometimes I would interact with others who seemed to share lineage with me. I even had some dreams that were events to come or things I couldn't possibly know about others. Eventually I started to call myself “child of the devil” in acceptance of my evilness that wouldn't go anywhere no matter how many righteous interventions I was put through. Anything the relatives tried to impress upon me as right felt horridly wrong, again something I didn't bring up.

Around age 8 I first came into contact with ancient gods during culture studies in the academy. This was what spurned my love affair with anthropology. It made sense and I wanted to know more and all about it and find out why it felt right and made sense.

Adolescence

I began to be able to affect things and change outcomes. If I thought about something during certain moods the thought would happen. Again, something I quickly learned was not in my best interest to disclose. Around 14 I started to see the dragons who talked to me as a child. This time they were in my waking states just before bed. They would appear inches from my face and scream into my head things like “Wake up!”, “Be who you were meant to be!”, “Stop hiding from who you are!” followed by one of my black dragon dreams when I finally got to bed. These dreams escalated to me being a goddess, worshiped and tended to. I also had in dream lessons about dragon and magic matters. If I dreamed of being a human it was the foretelling type of dream. I started to use the motto “I am the bit of chaos in every one's life” for myself. Which ended up being prolific in itself. I even started to be able to curse people with a thought by high school.

Being in a different home I was able to able to get the books from the library and study various things in the occult and new age movement. I wanted to absorb all knowledge. I started to find out about dreams and certain abilities humans exhibited with the mind. I couldn't really go into religious practices for time/space/allowed but I was able to do trance-work and other mental training.

College

In college I had the “be who you were meant to be” commands pounding in my skull, esp when I tried the married life. I had a few moments that felt like reality breaks. I would feel extra energy, almost like being too big and powerful for my physical body. Used to near black out thrash and pull at skin, and talk in another language/voice. Once during a particularly violent lightning storm strikes were landing really close to me. I had images and information forced into my mind, energy stronger than before. The next day waking up with my energy drastically different and my abilities stronger.

My then husband tried to play pagan friendly to my powers and beliefs, but he was not open enough to me starting to learn rituals or spell work. Again it was mental training and massive book study. Since I was in college I got to learn computers and the internet. It made for faster researching which I loved. More information, more things to test and apply.

California/Adulthood

Once I moved to Los Angeles things really took off for me. My dreams became more complex. I was the black dragon demiurge who shall be loved by all and send the Universe back to the Void. All of my human dreams were either precognitive or working out my issues I am dealing with. My chaos effect became very strong, effecting all who had any contact with me, online or real life, romantically or not.

After my divorce I had the freedom and resources to finally put what I had been studying for fourteen years to use. While I began to explore the things I had learned, I was also taking martial arts. There I also honed a lot of my energy and manifestation abilities. Two years later I met my next husband. We shared such a connection that I could not be convinced he was not my soul mate. He was also a dragon and he studied draconic magic as handed down to him from his grandfather (from the Philippines). Through him I started to learn language, runes, rituals, deities, ethics, etc. I was able to establish solid connections with my kin who taught me and had been around since childhood. After my second divorce my kin would not let me give up. I was not to quit the practice despite losing my physical teacher and some source material (some of it irreplaceable). I was hit with lessons even if I wanted to sleep, it was all on their time till I got back into practice. I set out to learn the occult sciences to augment my practice and fill in the things I was missing, running this by my kin of course.

There you have it, the story of how I came to the conclusion I am what I am.  Now I off to sleep being hours overdue.