Spiritual Body Modification

I am often asked how body modification and manipulation could be spiritual. Most of those who see my modifications and general appearance skip right past any personal reasons for why I am a modified goth and right to “you do it to stand out and be stared at, you are sticking a finger to society.” Well that might be your reasoning for getting modifications, but that certainly is not mine, especially when you take into consideration that all of my modifications save two are hideable (and even those are concealable to a degree). Everything I do has deep meaning to it with the added feature of enhancing my appearance and how I feel about myself. So how does all of this add up to spirituality?

Per the Church of Body Modification, of which I am a member, body modification is anything that involved a significant modification to the body. This includes piercing, tattoos, scarification, reconstructive and cosmetic surgeries and other ways the growth and development of the body is controlled and/or subverted. Manipulation is suspension, hook pulling, play piercing, fasting, binding, corseting, fire walking and any ritual that tests and pushes the limits of the body and spirit.

For the purpose of this essay, I will create the term Pain Therapy and define it as thus: The process of doing something that causes pain in order to reach a higher mental state away from anxiety, problems or spiritual blockages. The process of solving an issue of gnosis needed via getting to an elated state of mental being. I will also like to note that when I mention temporary scarification it is carving sigils into myself that do not leave a lasting scar after healing.

Because I had touched upon my looks, I shall briefly explain how it is spirituality driven. I use principles from alchemy in order to drive the colors and symbols I use in my make-up and clothing. If I am going into something where commanding people and success is paramount, I will wear dark purple (command) and gold (wealth, money, success). I will apply alchemical principles through out many aspects of my life, if not all. My two primary colors are also racial for me, they are my tribe's colors. As well as spiritual in a deep soul-form way.

Now that the defining is over, I shall get to the heart of the matter; how is modifying my body and going through pain spiritual? The imagery I use for one is spiritual. Each piece has a spiritual reason for being there, most of them are symbols for various steps in my spiritual path. Two when I go into getting my procedures done I do so in a deeply ritualistic way. I may start off with the beginning of a ritual before I leave the home and leave the altar go till I return to close it. Each time I go I will go into a trance (sometimes with light chanting so the artist is not bothered) with a specific idea, problem or question in mind. While my body is in the ecstatic bliss and relaxation of the immediate pain, my answer or message from my spiritual guides is revealed. By the end of the session, or at the end of the healing process at the latest, I will have either solved what I focused on or I will have cleared a spiritual hurdle in my life. I am well aware that there are other ways to get the massive endorphin release but this is far safer, more of a journey and leaves a beautiful corpse. I would almost be as bold as to say it is the only time I feel anything. During the process I am flooded with all of the pain regulation hormones and transmitters that I feel bliss, happiness, oneness with myself/the universe/my fellow fleshbags, and even a bit of snuggly. Any other time I am pretty devoid of feeling outside of content and rage.

For a few personal health issues I have not yet gotten into suspension or hooks, but I do partake in various modifications and manipulations. Tattoos I use to mark important chapters in my life as well as transform my external to reflect what is inside. Piercings are for pain therapy as well as aesthetic. I do plan a few if I can stop working corporate offices that will reflect my inner self, but till such a time I am happy with just therapy and aesthetic. Temporary scarification is part pain therapy, but mostly it is religious. I use it to get semi-permanent sigils onto my flesh for various reasons. Blood play is for pain therapy as well as fetish indulgence. I have a fascination with blood and feel the connection of the energy present in it. I will even use blood to bind myself to a ritual piece or my art. Fasting and sleep deprovation I do when I need to concentrate on my emotional and spiritual sides over the physical, or when the physical just needs a bit of rest from the pressures of this world.

There you have it in a small little nutshell. I could possibly delve deeper into the psychology of it, but for now I believe this is enough of a glimpse to show how I'm not modified just to throw a finger at society and I'm not claiming spiritual purposes to get away with doing it.