Musings of a Dragonatrix

Genetic : I did a genetic test to get my health reports while between doctors. I have been taking the raw data and running through GedMatch reports to find where I am from, etc. Genetically I've found literally everything, with high concentrations of Arab/Persian genetic descent based areas: South Europe, Caucasus , Balkans, Greece, Romani, Ashkenazi Jew (also European), Near East, Anatolia/Turkey, etc. The rest is divided UK (British/Irish), Germany, Serbia, Iceland, Oceanic, Spanish, Native, Omotic, NW Semetic for the African reports, Eastern European... Maternal haplogroup (first woman in my family): as of 18k yrs ago it appeared in the Middle to Near East (puts the first lineage within the Mesopotamian Empire) then this about modern info > “ In fact, N1a is very scarce in Europe today, rarely surpassing levels of 1% in the places where it does occur — Hungary, Greece, and along the Baltic Sea. Other members of N1a moved east instead, carrying the haplogroup throug...

I made some adjustments to this year's death ceremonies. I decided that I would skip the immediate ancestors that I know of an seek the ones from the cultures that I feel drawn to in an attempt to bring in ancestors to work with and feel good about working with. I want to heal this "generational curse."  For Ne-Izi-Gar I did prep and love for them, even making a lot of Arabic dinners, listening more to the music again, making sure to do my language lesson, and spent a lot of time on the Underworld tarot spread for Kin-Inanna. With all of the warm up for them I went into Kin-Inanna.  I used elemental dragons for making the room sacred, prayer to Ninnghizhidda and Neti, and a 15 day Ellegua candle for busting open the gate to the underworld. The first ritual night included not only many offerings (even blood), but I stripped my ritual robe for Neti like Inanna had to strip at each gate to open them. Once done with the initial day I let the candle go and did daily sma...

Without going too much TMI I will muse upon some things about growing up and finding out I was one of the non-gendered. I was always a bit weird growing up. My body had this boyish look, but for all medical appearances I was a girl. I grew fast, adult sized and functions by 9 but halted development there. I was a flat chested girl with masculine features and could bulk develop muscles like the guys. I took advantage of it to try to build health, but I stayed obese despite the time constantly working out in what is now called cross-fit (180 from age 9 to 18). The boyish figure got comments like "why is that boy getting his nails painted?" I got more of a female figure when my thyroid failed and I gained 200 lbs at 19. Physicality wise: I noticed I was getting complaints about being too small. The doctors even noticed that the usual instruments didn't work on me. As I learned more about anatomy vs myself, I realized I wasn't functioning or appearing fully like how nor...

This year we did a Nowruz celebration since there was a growing family in my home. I had previously only bought some food and finger wiggled over the holiday since no one wanted to join me in celebrating it. It was only the fiance and myself, but it's a start. I hope to grow it into a larger event next year. I made some traditional foods (took over two rooms actually, I just ran out of space on my art table lol) and made the table to Ama-Tiamat. Instead of this holiday being devoted to Marduk killing our mother as it is traditionally, I reclaimed it for the great mother. Amazingly enough, my Tanzanian Red Claw scorpion went and gave birth to the minute we finished dinner on the 20th! I've had her for nearly 25 months and she's been fat for 6-8 so maybe her kind does immaculate conception because there is no research for a female being gravid that long. Eighteen months seems to be the max for any species and yes some African species can asexual reproduce when lacking ...

Perhaps I'm overpowering my candles, maybe using those deities are just that damned hard hitting, maybe there was a defect in the construction of those candles for the batch I bought from the store; but there has been some weirdness lately with my black over red reversals.  I'm no stranger to these, they are a staple to my defense when I feel someone is messing with my home or sanity. I used to just do a generic "my enemy" on it, draconic runes (all candles and workings are treated with those), some DUME or Uncrossing, and went on my way (or for lesser issues, only lit it while dropping a duce, outhouse rootwork style). They usually burn down cleanly with nothing left, I toss the remainder of the glass, and that's it. But now--- Holy Hell, Inferno! The first time I attached my life long protector because some serious shyte went down, omg it was an insane candle that I thought was going to catch things on fire. It liquefied in under 24 hrs (normally th...

Here are some tips for trance work if you find yourself having a tough go at it. These are some things that helped my former students and you can adapt the advice to find something that works for you. The first few things are things ingrained in humans from our origin through DNA. Think back to indigenous tribes who used drums and other instruments around a fire with herbs while singing and dancing. They would get so far into trance that they could travel worlds, take on deities, raise the conscious energies of the whole group, just through the experience. Music: Humans have a deep genetic memory for music and we still respond to it even if we don't realize it. Play around with different frequencies, beats, instruments, genres, etc. until you find one that puts you right into the zone. I find that for me music from my various ethnicities will have the most profound effect if I'm having a difficult day getting into trance or I'm going for a really heavy experience. Somet...

I saw in a group a well detailed explanation about Cain, his lineage, and his curse. The short version had him existing 17k years ago and having a genetic deformity which makes him devoid of conscience; which made him essentially an animal and unable to understand what he did was wrong. This is why he was spared severe punishment by God. If I remember the thread properly (it is nearly 2a and I'm at work), it said Noah was his descendant, a Cabal, and carrying this defect. Everyone that was saved on the ark was a Cabal as well. The surviving Cabal are supposed to be protected by world leaders, rich, heads of media, businesses, etc. and still carrying this defect. Now I believe this defect exists because I have several that create the same situation. I have one that gives me lower dopamine receptors (equaling little to no reward feeling for doing good, less enjoyment in life, no enjoyment from food, etc.), one for lower receptors for oxytocin (little love/bonding feeling among fami...