Musings of a Dragonatrix

I am working on pulling together an artist blog for people to keep track of my works in progress, progress on projects, thoughts pertaining to art, articles, etc. I am going to use a quick basic template google site so there is no layout questions here, I will be doing a full site whenever I get around to hosting a professional portfolio. I feel a site is best for this vs a legit blog due to layout options, it's hard to keep things in the same collection, or relevant items together with my twitter, tumblr and other blog like sites. I would like things to be easy for people to find. The question I pose is a visual one. For those who are familiar with my work you (if you aren't there's my tumblr  http://dragonatrix.tumblr.com/ ) will note I'm a bit of a horror surrealist, dragon and gore enthusiast. I'm looking to poll people on which themes will be most welcomed for my graphics on the quick site (I may not be able to alter the layout, but gorramit I'll do cus...

For those who keep telling me that the reason I've lost my emotions is because I've chosen wrong in my life and I should change who I choose to be in my life. Here is a list of supposedly wrong choices: - I didn't get a chance to chose my relatives. If I did chose this life before I was born, I don't see why the hell I would agree to them or my body with all of it's genetic issues. - I chose various short term relationships based on chemistry, following my heart, friends, money/items wanted, the person was nice, interest, differing interests, same interests... all failed hard - I chose a close friend who I worked with, he was a bit older and responsible enough. We got along amazingly while we lived together for over a year. There was really no issue in our relationship except he wanted to go back to his ex gf. - I chose someone who was in the military, supposed to be full of honour and commitment. He was also born again Christian spouting off how he is a brothe...

More Correlations Jul 18, '12 10:43 AM for everyone During the beginner magic class I found a few interesting correlations: - During the Greco-Roman assignment I saw Typhon and Eris within myself. I had to go with Eris because Typhon did not have a Roman counterpart. http://kashakutatsu.multiply.com/journal/item/53 - My most suited astrological sign is Scorpio, the one that affects my life the hardest down to accurate horoscopes. Classical astrology has Scorpio's planet as Mars, ironically it's Eris's planet as well. It's colour is red. - During a vodou ritual last Oct, I received a veve of my parent in the vodou tradition. Surprise surprise it's the one evil lwa, Kalfou. His  colour is red, he is the one who hexes (and his children are also adept at hexing), he is a cross road lwa (of the dark side) and he allows the crossing of demons. His brother, Legba (the normal crossroads lwa), is black/red. He be...

Revisiting the "Selfish" article http://dragonatrix.blogspot.com/2012/09/selfish.html To surmise, the claim was that I was selfish because I was not in a relationship and didn't want one in any form (no friends with benefits, no one night stands, no dating, no third marriage). It's been over another year since the claim and still don't want any of these. I've been celibate and refusing any dates. WHY? Because the PTSD has me by the nuts and it's actually causing me harm to consider being with someone. When someone gives me attention like that I end up with a panic attack, part of me convinced these people will be a repeat of the past assholes. I'm not as violent as I used to be, but I still get my violent moments on bad days. Just when I think I'm over everything, the dreams come back and I either can't sleep or wake too fucked in the head to do much but cry. Gods why can't people understand this? I've literally had to put warnings...

This is a brief introduction to draconian occultism as handed down to me from my second exhusband's family. This was a tradition handed down through generations that I was to learn to raise our children in. Unfortunately we did not stay together and the dragons will not let me out of my oaths to them. So I've been a solitary practitioner without my old clan and lacking in locals who also practice it. I get most of my lessons through interacting with my guides and family within my home plane. I will return to them, therefore I am following their teachings as not to be rusty when I go back. The finer details will be expanded upon in subsequent articles. Draconian occultism is a ceremonial style tradition in which the only deities worked with are dragons. It is polytheist in that all dragons are individual beings with their own unique traits. We work with the dragon gods of lore as well as dragons we encounter through our travels. The dragons may or may not be gods within thei...

I mentioned to a friend before leaving for a drive that it is very balancing spiritually for me. I become one with everything while I'm driving recklessly in the canyons. Here are all the ways it's truly balancing, refer to my previous blog about balance. I start at home, pull out and drive towards Topanga Canyon. On the way I'll stop off for preparations: fuel, food, drinks. I turn onto Topanga Canyon and drive straight through to the PCH. While I'm up there the world melts away, it's just me, my car and the road. The emotional distress, anxiety, work stress... none of it matters while I'm up there. By the time I hit the ocean I am a blank slate. I sit upon the quartz lined boulders while looking out at the ocean. I watch the eerie stillness of the ocean at night, the tides, and waves. I become entranced by it all, drinking in all of the elements while there. After a time I'll drive home and during the return trip I'm rejuvenated and ready to fac...

I am often asked how body modification and manipulation could be spiritual. Most of those who see my modifications and general appearance skip right past any personal reasons for why I am a modified goth and right to “you do it to stand out and be stared at, you are sticking a finger to society.” Well that might be your reasoning for getting modifications, but that certainly is not mine, especially when you take into consideration that all of my modifications save two are hideable (and even those are concealable to a degree). Everything I do has deep meaning to it with the added feature of enhancing my appearance and how I feel about myself. So how does all of this add up to spirituality? Per the Church of Body Modification, of which I am a member, body modification is anything that involved a significant modification to the body. This includes piercing, tattoos, scarification, reconstructive and cosmetic surgeries and other ways the growth and development of the body is controlled ...

To most the concept of being a dragon soul is lunacy, but to others they are intrigued once they find out. It's a common trend in neo-paganism for one to have an animal totem and they think it makes them something non-human or they think because they have abilities they are some non-human thing. Almost like having a non-human soul is a requirement. All I hear all day is “how do I find out?” well to satiate those and as an FYI to fellow kin if they need to know, here it goes. First off, I don't believe my draconity is an aspect of my personality. I believe I have a reincarnated dragon soul who was born into this world to do a job per those who I would say are the dragons I work with like deities in my spiritual practice, they are relatives back in my home plane . I have come to this by a series of events and serious amounts of introspection and trance-work. Since I can't seem to pin point a specific awakening event I shall just start from the beginning with the various eve...