Attachments
These are a few exerts from a book I recently got (which is
ironically the first book I've found that's dedicated to my
tradition) "...his process is always painful and may tear
your world apart. Relationships, views, habits, beliefs and other
attachments to the world may crumble to dust if this is needed to
walk the Path further. This is inevitable and is a natural part of
every initiation process....If you let the forces of chaos and
dissolution into your life, do not run away when they start to reap
their fruit. If you find yourself depressed, tired, sick or
frightened, and the whole world around you is falling apart, do not
turn your back on the Path and do not quit magic because this is the
very sign of initiatory forces being at work... this is not a time
for self-denial or giving yourself to weakness and inertia. This is a
time to embrace the transformation and rise from the Darkness of the
Void to the Light of spiritual rebirth."
I came across this passage the day my pet bearded died (in which this time I did not feel anything, no grieving or at the least sensed the death current). I had a few odd realizations hit me ....
I've been calling myself "the lil piece of chaos in everyone's life" for as long as I can remember. Almost always saw myself as a destructive force for those around me (this has been broached before in other blogs, journals, rants and profiles). In the watching of patterns I can see that everything around me flourishes rapidly then dies way early: relationships, people, pets, plants. Everything around me becomes destroyed faster than it should. I've also came to a place awhile ago that I have seem to have lost connection with others. This can be attributed to the lack of the neurotransmitter oxytocin. It's proven those without it do not have the need to bond, don't trust, don't have love, and can't be satisfied after sex. Which all of this describes how I've been for awhile now. So a very medical and mundane reason.
But in reading this passage I've been playing with the idea that perhaps all these things like other people, caring for plants and animals, etc. could just be mundane attachments and it's the energy current I live in (not the one the flesh bag I'm riding lives in, but the chaos or draconic energy currents) breaking down things that tie me here.
Oddly enough this also leads to the odd feeling that in this case the mundane reason is far nicer to believe then the spiritual.
I came across this passage the day my pet bearded died (in which this time I did not feel anything, no grieving or at the least sensed the death current). I had a few odd realizations hit me ....
I've been calling myself "the lil piece of chaos in everyone's life" for as long as I can remember. Almost always saw myself as a destructive force for those around me (this has been broached before in other blogs, journals, rants and profiles). In the watching of patterns I can see that everything around me flourishes rapidly then dies way early: relationships, people, pets, plants. Everything around me becomes destroyed faster than it should. I've also came to a place awhile ago that I have seem to have lost connection with others. This can be attributed to the lack of the neurotransmitter oxytocin. It's proven those without it do not have the need to bond, don't trust, don't have love, and can't be satisfied after sex. Which all of this describes how I've been for awhile now. So a very medical and mundane reason.
But in reading this passage I've been playing with the idea that perhaps all these things like other people, caring for plants and animals, etc. could just be mundane attachments and it's the energy current I live in (not the one the flesh bag I'm riding lives in, but the chaos or draconic energy currents) breaking down things that tie me here.
Oddly enough this also leads to the odd feeling that in this case the mundane reason is far nicer to believe then the spiritual.
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