Selfish

I was recently called selfish and the guy told me that it's because I'm selfish that I'm not married.... no I was far from selfish during any of my committed relationships. It's only in the past nearing two years that I have really got the courage up to stand on my own and live for myself. I finally get to know who I am as a person and not who I am when I'm with someone. My health is no longer last in the priority list to whatever the other person needed to be happy. I am doing things that make me happy because living to please others only did not give me true happiness. I thought I was happy because programming said I was to be happy doing all this, but deep down it felt like a hell. My inner child was not taken care of, my id was ignored, my ego completely crushed by others, this was not happiness.

My therapist who helped me through a lot of the PTS from the last relationship gave me permission to be selfish and take time to heal myself from all angles. Last year was devoted to my emotions getting the anxiety gone and dealing with the pts. This year is going to be on my health and taking care of things around the home so I am happy in it and not just having it the way my ex had it cause I don't feel up to redecorating.

So what if I'm being selfish? I deserve it!

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